BRIDE SHOOTS ATTACKER
MOUNT VERNON, Mo. - Florists were hanging wisteria at Charlotte Ann Neely-White's home for her wedding when a
stranger drove up, claimed there was a bomb in his car, and made the mistake of demanding her beloved pickup. Neely-White had her fiance get her pistol, and while she fought with the man, the gun went off, wounding the man in the chest. A few hours later, Neely-White got married as scheduled. "It was a long day," the former public school principal said Friday.
"This lady was as calm as a cucumber. She can withstand anything. I admire her guts," said flower arranger Linda Cassidy. "I don't think I'd want to make her upset." Lawrence County Sheriff Doug Seneker said he had no doubt that Neely-White acted in self defense.
Witnesses said the confrontation started about three hours before Neely-White's Fourth of July wedding. The stranger "went rushing by and then he slammed on his brakes, and then he came into the yard, and he said 'Somebody call 911 quick, there's a bomb in my car,'" Cassidy said. "He was scared and excited, and just kind of wired." Then he demanded that Neely-White give him her pickup. She refused. "Have you ever had anything you really love? Well, I love that truck," said Neely-White, 55.
She said the man threatened to set off the bomb if she didn't give him her truck. "I said, `No sir, you go ahead and set the bomb off. My house needs work anyway.'" Neely-White said the man attacked her with a riding whip, so she yelled for her fiance, who had gone inside to call police, to grab her .22-caliber pistol. "I probably mowed my fiance over," Neely-White said. As a former principal, it was in her nature to take control, she said. Seneker said Neely-White and the assailant struggled for the gun, and it went off, hitting the man once in the chest. He managed to grab the gun from her, break a window in Neely-White's pickup with a piece of firewood and open the door. With the gun pointed at her, Neely-White backed off.
Police later arrested Jorge Luis Cecenas, 30, after he allegedly abandoned the pickup. He was charged Friday, while hospitalized with a chest wound, with first-degree assault and other counts.
From Findlaw Online: WEDDING AT 7:11 ON 7/11 AT 7-ELEVEN
FORT MYERS, Fla. - A former manager and employee of a convenience store returned to the place they met for their wedding - the 7-Eleven at 7:11 a.m. on July 11. "I figured if I got married at 7:11 on 7/11 in 7-Eleven, it'd be hard to forget my anniversary," groom Randy Kimball said.
Kimball met his bride, Sharon Stehli, at the store when she applied for a job two years ago. "We met here so we didn't consider getting married any other place," Stehli said. The brief ceremony was performed Thursday by Dee Blazina, a notary who is an assistant manager at another 7-Eleven store. The couple also hauled in a pile of sand for their altar - the concrete slab between the convenience store and the parking lot - to give their wedding a tropical theme.
The groom wore dark sunglasses, a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. The bride donned a Hawaiian print sarong dress. Both wore shark tooth necklaces. After the ceremony, the newlyweds sipped coffee from a foam 7-Eleven cup.
From New York Daily News:
MARRIAGE MILL BUSTED; FIVE CHARGED IN $5,000-A-POP GREEN CARD SCAM
LONG ISLAND, New York - Ebony Cunningham had a golden wedding ring. Too bad it landed her in jail. The young Brooklyn wife-for-hire tied the knot four times this year in the same Long Island town - earning $2,000 a pop for sham marriages officiated by the same retired judge, authorities said yesterday.
Cunningham, 22, of Dumont Ave., Brooklyn, is allegedly part of an arranged-marriage ring busted in Brooklyn by Immigration and Naturalization Service agents and Suffolk County district attorney detectives. Cops nabbed the ringleader - known on the street as Little Gotti - and her two assistants, said Robert Clifford, spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Thomas Spota. A source said retired Hempstead Village Judge Lawrence Goldstein, 77, vacationing in Saratoga Springs, is due to surrender today.
The scam involved hundreds of immigrants from the Caribbean, Pakistan, Nigeria and other countries who paid $5,000 for the chance to get green cards through quick and easy matrimony. "It appears to be an immense operation with many arranged marriages, dating back to 1996," Clifford said. Islip Town Clerk Joan Johnson was the first official to clue in to the marriage scheme. Last month, a staffer recognized Cunningham when she sought a second marriage application in less than a month. "This girl must have been new to the game, because she not only used the same name, she gave her parents' names, a correct address and her correct Social Security number," Johnson said.
Officials learned that alleged ringleader Sheri Rudd sent busloads of would-be grooms and brides to Islip Town Hall to get marriage licenses. The couples were then driven by Rudd's workers to Goldstein's home in Hempstead, where vows were exchanged, investigators said. "We realized that [Goldstein] married this same girl three times," Johnson said. "Unless he's senile, he has to see this bride and realize he's seen her a month earlier."
But Goldstein, who allegedly got $45 per wedding, swore in a phone interview he never realized he was repeatedly marrying the same brides. "If they present a valid license, it's not my job to question it," he said.
Rudd, 36, allegedly pocketed $2,000 for each sham marriage. She was charged with conducting a commercial operation to commit marriage fraud. Her live-in lover, 63-year-old William Baptiste, and Adam Cooper, 25, were charged with the same crime. Cunningham and fellow fake bride Kenya Dinkins, 25, of Loring Ave. in Brooklyn were charged last month with trying to pass a false instrument. Gordon Canhigh, 32, who flew in from Grenada on July 13 and tried to get married a week later, faces the same charge.
From the American Association for the Advancement of Science:
MATHS PREDICTS CHANCES OF DIVORCE;
IGNORING NASTY COMMENTS IS SECRET TO LONG-LASTING LOVE
Reactions to partners comments make up a 'positivity' graph.
Ignoring snide comments and stopping yourself from rolling your eyes at the stupidity of your partner are, mathematically speaking, the best way to stay solid in your relationship. That's according to clinical psychologist John Gottman from the University of Washington in Seattle, who has been watching couples bicker about sex and money for more than a decade, gathering data to help him understand the mathematics of matrimony. Gottman and his colleagues have produced a mathematical equation that they claim can predict, with an accuracy close to 100%, whether a couple will divorce. Now they're using their findings to tailor therapy sessions for couples who are on the rocks, and say that the initial results look good.
The results come from a series of intensive studies of 15-minute interviews with couples discussing contentious issues, such as sex or money. Trained observers tracked statements and facial expressions made by each partner and plotted graphs of 'positivity' against time for each conversation. Mathematician James Murray then set to work on developing an algebra of affection (or lack of it). He generated equations to describe each plot, using variables such as the degree to which each partner influenced the others' mood. Murray experimented with several equations before settling on one that included this influence along with an overall measure of positivity for each partner alone, and the degree to which each partner retained the same point of view throughout the conversation. The equations seem to fall into five types, only three of which appear to be stable over long periods of time.
To test this assertion, Gottman and Murray interviewed 700 US couples who had recently wed, and made predictions about whether they would get divorced in the near future. Revisiting those same couples four years later, they found their predictions had a 94% success rate - better than therapists who carried out a similar exercise, says Gottman. The crucial predictors, say the researchers, are the presence of facial expressions that accompany emotions such as contempt. Gottman says that just watching a couple and looking for this expression, described as a sideways pull of a corner of the mouth accompanied by rolling eyes, is enough to make a good guess about a couple's suitability. "This is our best predictor," he says. "Contempt is the sulphuric acid of love."
The two researchers, who described their results in a 2003 book, are now trying to use their findings to tailor marriage-counselling techniques. Analysis of a couple's graph can reveal whether a narrow-minded husband needs to be more open to suggestions made by his wife, for example, or if a negative wife is dragging down a relationship single-handedly. Using such assessments, Gottman has run therapy sessions with couples. He is still tracking the couples, but says that around two-thirds change for the better after a few days of workshops, and 75% improve when a further series of nine weekly sessions are added.
Gottman may also have stumbled across the secret of a lasting relationship - simply ignore the nasty comments from your partner. He says that courting couples tend to ignore negative statements and pay more attention to positive remarks. Once married, this trend often reverses, although couples that remain together into their sixties retain this outlook. He also has bad news for the defenders of traditional family values: gay and lesbian couples, as well as heterosexual couples that do not marry, hold on to the positive value of courtship better than straight partners who get hitched, he says.
References: Gottman, J. M. et al. The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models (2004).
From Findlaw Online:
SCHIAVO CASE A REMINDER THAT IN-LAW TENSIONS CAN BE WRENCHING
NEW YORK-Incompatible in-laws have long been a staple for gag writers, but the Terri Schiavo case is a reminder that such friction often has wrenchingly unfunny consequences - bitter estrangement, all-out legal battles, even violence. Indeed, it is the conflict between Terri Schiavo's husband, Michael, and her parents that brought the case to national attention. If the parents agreed with his efforts to remove the brain-damaged woman's feeding tube, it is unlikely that right-to-life activists and politicians would have mobilized regardless of other circumstances.
"There have been similar cases where people have been disconnected, but because they didn't reach the same level of in-law tensions, they didn't evoke such strong feelings," said Steven Mintz, a University of Houston professor specializing in the history of families. "The subtext of the case is intergenerational tension," Mintz said. "Parents are more invested than ever in their children, even when they're grown."
Normally, U.S. law is clear cut - however distressed in-laws may be over developments within their child's marriage, they have no special right to intervene. "This area of law has been long established," said Phyllis Bossin, a Cincinnati attorney who formerly chaired the American Bar Association's Family Law Section. "Once you get married, your spouse gets a whole lot of legal rights, including the right to make medical decisions for you."
Atlanta divorce lawyer John Mayoue noted that in-laws might disagree passionately with decisions affecting their married children or even their grandchildren - should a teenage granddaughter have breast-augmentation surgery? Should a Jewish grandson have a bar mitzvah? "But would we want them to be able to go to court or petition Congress to get their way?" Mayoue asked. "Where would you draw the line?"
Mayoue said he found it ironic that conservative activists who promote the sanctity of marriage when opposing same-sex unions have - in the Schiavo case - sided with in-laws seeking to intervene in what is legally a spouse's prerogative. "The conservatives are getting involved in tearing down the foundation of something they say needs protection," Mayoue said.
Conservative leaders, however, contend that Michael Schiavo undermined the sanctity of his marriage by cohabiting and raising children with another woman, while refusing to divorce Terri and place her in the guardianship of her parents. "We support the nuclear family - that's the paramount family," said Carrie Gordon Earll, a bioethics analyst for Focus on the Family. "That doesn't mean parents should not be paying attention to what's happening to their children, even if they're married, adult children," Earll added. "This is a case where the parents feel they have evidence of abuse. People are wondering, 'Who is Terri's family here?'"
Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, said his normal inclination to oppose any infringement on the husband-wife relationship was altered in this case by Michael Schiavo's cohabitation and the absence of a living will written by Terri Schiavo. "I'm not usually in favor of government intrusion," Perkins said. "But ultimately the government does have a right to protect people."
Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills psychiatrist, says parents are right to be wary if their married daughter inexplicably becomes more distant. An abusive husband, she said, typically tries to isolate his wife from her parents. "Some parents are afraid to meddle," Lieberman said. "They need to set boundaries as to intruding into a marriage. ... But if they have suspicions of abuse, they should do whatever their instinct tells them to do." Some relationships end violently. A South Dakota man killed his two young children and himself this month after a fight with his mother-in-law. A Pensacola, Florida, attorney was shot dead by his father-in-law in January; a Vancouver, Washington, woman was convicted in 2003 of killing her mother-in-law with fireplace tongs.
Claudia Arp, who along with her husband and another couple wrote a book called "Loving Your Relatives," said most people dismayed by their in-laws can minimize tensions through restraint and civility. "One important tip to parents: Get a life and work on your own marriage," Arp said. "We see so many problems when kids grow up and leave home and parents don't let go and cross boundaries they shouldn't." Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, who has studied marriage, said in-laws prior to the 20th century often had economic stakes in their children's marriages and participated in the younger couples' decision-making. "Now, the couple has to decide things for themselves," she said. "That's liberating, but it also raises the potential for everything-goes battles."
WEDDING WORDS AND MEANINGS
From Merriam-Webster Online:
\mor-guh-NAT-ik\ adjective: of, relating to, or being a marriage between a member of
a royal or noble family and a person of inferior rank, in which
the rank of the inferior partner remains unchanged and the
children of the marriage do not succeed to the titles, fiefs, or
entailed property of the partner of higher rank
Example sentence:
England's Prime Minister rejected King Edward's offer of a
morganatic marriage to Mrs. Simpson, so the king abdicated.
The deprivations imposed on the lower-ranking spouse by a
morganatic marriage may seem like a royal pain in the neck, and
yet the word "morganatic" comes from a word for a marriage
benefit. New Latin "morganatica," a term based on Middle High
German's "morgen" ("morning"), means "morning gift." It refers
to a gift that a new husband traditionally gave to his bride on
the morning after the consummation of their marriage. So why was
the New Latin phrase "matrimonium ad morganaticam," which means
literally "marriage with morning gift," the term for a
morganatic marriage? Because it was just that -- the wife got
the morning gift, but that's all she was entitled to of her
husband's possessions.
From Wordsmith.Org:
(fem KOV-uhrt) noun, plural femes covert: A married woman.
[From Anglo-French feme covert, from feme (woman) + covert (protected).] A feme covert is not the feminine equivalent of 007. Rather, it's a legal term to describe a married woman, one who is covered or protected by a husband. Some have interpreted the term literally to indicate a women covered by a veil. The opposite of this is feme sole, a single woman, whether divorced, widowed, or never married.
From Wordsmith.Org's A Word A Day email list:
In Russian, the predicate adjective "married", when applied to a gentleman,
is /zhenat/ (literally, "wifed"). His lady, on the other hand, is
/zamuzhem/ (literally, "behind [her] husband"). This asymmetry carries over
from the two distinct verbs meaning "to marry" -- one for each gender. My Russian wife assures me that the wife is behind the husband in the same
way that the driver is behind the mule. -- Dave Zobel
(NOTE: If you love words, you must check out Wordsmith.Org and sign up for the free Word-A-Day email--you can send gift Word-A-Day subscriptions, too!)
WORLD WEDDING CUSTOMS: Take A Quiz!
- Of West Virginia, California, and New York, which state does not permit marriage between first cousins?
West Virginia. Yep, first cousins can legally marry in California!
- What color is a traditional Chinese wedding dress?
Red. Luck, happiness, and prosperity are all signified by red in Chinese culture.
- How many weddings a year in Las Vegas?
Over 100,000; Los Angeles County does anywhere from 60,000 to 80,000 per year.
- What do Greek brides write on the soles of their bridal shoes?
The names of unmarried friends; the ones that rub off the list will be next to marry.
- Which was the last U.S. State to take laws against miscegenation (interracial marriage) off its books?
Alabama, in 2000.
- What vows do a Thai Buddhist couple take during their wedding ceremony?
None; there are no traditional or universal Buddhist wedding vows, unlike many Western religions.
- At what point is a marriage determined to be finalized in the Ndzundza Ndebele tribe of Africa?
When a child is born.
- How does a traditional Hopi woman propose to a prospective husband?
She bakes bread; if he accepts it, he has also accepted the proposal.
- What is "suttee"?
The practice in India (now illegal) of a widow being burned either voluntarily or involuntarily on her husband's funeral pyre.
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